READ up on palliative care, volunteer with a hospice, and learn how to connect with patients with life-limiting illnesses such as cancer.
That is the call of hospice nurse Kong Kam Yong (pic) to youth.
“It’s a life cycle. Everybody will age. Even now, cancer is more prevalent among young people compared to decades ago. Get to know more about it so you won’t be afraid or at a loss if and when it happens,” she said.
She urged young people not to shy away from parents or grandparents with life-limiting illnesses.
“As they see their father or mother becoming bed-bound or less strong, some feel fearful and unsure of what to do. Their loved ones are still the same person – it’s just that outwardly, they are physically weaker.
“So continue to talk to them, involve them in their care, visit often, and spend time with them. Do small things like bringing food, feeding them or applying lotion. These show that you care and still want to connect with them,” she said.
Kong explained that advocating for patients is a key role of a hospice nurse.
“Patients want to be comfortable, so we provide care that respects their dignity.
“Supporting them in their times of distress and meeting not only their medical but also emotional needs is most rewarding. When they are truly in pain and you can help, that’s when it is most helpful. Being able to connect with them is vital,” she said.
Kong, a hospice nurse at Faith Hope Love Hospice with nine years of experience, shared her insights in a recent phone interview with StarEdu. Below is an excerpt, edited for brevity.
What are some common misconceptions about end-of-life care and hospice services?
Many patients and families hesitate or resist hospice or palliative care, thinking it means there’s no more hope or treatment and they are just waiting to die. But that’s not true.
Palliative care should start early, even alongside curative treatment. For example, cancer patients undergoing chemotherapy or radiotherapy may have many symptoms. Providing symptom relief is part of palliative care. When patients feel better, we can build rapport, discuss their goals, and plan care that improves their quality of life – physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually.
How do you support patients and their families in the final stage of life?
By listening and understanding what matters most to them. Once we know their priorities, we help them work towards short-term goals.
For example, if a patient wants to attend a child’s wedding, we might help arrange an earlier date. If they want to celebrate an anniversary, visit the beach or go to church, we find ways to make it happen.
Sometimes, it’s simple, like baking cookies together if they can sit in a wheelchair, or organising a shopping trip with volunteers.
We also discuss advance care planning, such as where and how they want to be cared for, who can make decisions on their behalf if needed, and whether they would like to see a spiritual leader. We also help resolve family conflicts so their wishes are respected.
What issues do you usually face in your role?
Food and hydration are major concerns. As patients grow weaker and eat less, families worry. We explain that calorie needs decrease over time and discuss the pros and cons of interventions like feeding tubes or IV hydration.
Another issue is collusion – when families hide a diagnosis from the patient. While they fear the truth will cause distress, patients have the right to know. If a patient asks directly, we answer truthfully but gently, and explore their reasons for asking.
Sometimes, families feel helpless watching their loved ones fade. We encourage them to stay involved through simple acts: massaging, applying lotion, helping with oral care, or simply sitting and talking. These touches bring comfort and show love.
